I’m An Awkward Fan

2 Oct

When I meet someone I admire my brain ceases to work and my physical movements become erratic. It’s kind of like a flight or fight response except my physiology only allows me to be awkward.

Admittedly I have this same reaction when I encounter a good looking man. 

Now imagine what happened when I met not one, but TWO of my favorite (and devilishly handsome!) hockey players – Scott Hartnell and Claude Giroux – at a fan meet-and-greet event.

First up was Scott Hartnell.  I waited in line, slowly making my way toward him.  The closer I got, the more panic-stricken I became.  By the time I got up to the front of the line I had forgotten my own name, let alone why I was there.

Scott Hartnell

Scott Hartnell

Hartnell: {Shakes my very sweaty hand} “It’s nice to meet you!”

Me: {>blink, blink< I turn toward camera without a word}

Hartnell: {Turns back toward me, bending down to make direct eye contact and slowly enunciates every word, as if I don’t understand English} “It’s. Very. Nice. To. Meet. You.”

Me: {Intend to say “likewise”, but instead emit a strange meeper sound. Am horrified. Run away}

Now on to the real reason I was there – Claude Giroux.   Granted, the Hartnell disaster encounter did not go well, but I had gotten all that out of my system, right?  From now on I was going to be full on cool.

Then I saw him.

Have you ever seen a grown women fighting off a hysterical fan-girl cry?  It’s not pretty, people.

As I approached Giroux, a woman appeared to my right asking if I had items for him to autograph.  We were allowed 2 items, so I brought a jersey and puck.  I was now 8 feet away from Claude Giroux. It was all too much.  I could not look at him, so I opted to stare at the woman to my right instead.  Sure it was creepy, but it was keeping me from fainting so I kept doing it.  Helloooooo.

Giroux: {Motions me to join him– says something, but I am struck deaf as well as awkward and cannot tell you what he said or if it was even directed to me}

Claude Giroux

Claude Giroux

Me: {Smile, blush & turn toward camera}

Photographer: “You need to get closer to him”

Me: {I’m not even sure how I’ve made it this close, buddy!}

Photographer: “No, closer”

Me: {Scoot in 1 mm}

Photographer: “Come on! Put your arm around him”

Me: {FULL BODY BLUSH!! Oh wow, he’s solid!}

After the photographer snapped the picture, I attempted to run away.  The woman from earlier appeared in front of me and handed me something that vaguely looked like my unsigned jersey and puck.  

Giroux: “Wait! Come back. I can sign those for you.”  {holding up markers to demonstrate he was prepared}

Me: {OH MY GOD HE SPOKE DIRECTLY TO ME!! This is too overwhelming! Attempting to shove aside the woman who is now blocking my exit.  She proves a strong adversary and not-so-gently shoves me back towards Giroux}.

Giroux: “Do you want me to sign on the number?”

Me: “Thanks” {I spoke – PROGRESS!}

Giroux: {Looks confused. Signs on the number.}

Me: “Thanks” {Wiping brow, careful not to sweat on Giroux}

Giroux: “Is there anything else you want me to sign?”

Me:  “Thank you” {look at that! I managed two words this time.}

Giroux: “Really, I don’t mind.”

Me: “Thanks”

Giroux: {Giving me a ‘does-she-speak-English-?’ look similar to Hartnell}

Me: {Red-faced, sweaty and panting slightly, I am gently escorted toward the exit.  Once outside, my knees give and I spend the next few minutes lying in the carpeted hallway while the security guard eyes me cautiously. No matter, I was in a bliss bubble!}

I didn’t make the BEST impression, but who knows? Maybe they enjoyed my awkward charm? Or… maybe not.

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4 Responses to “I’m An Awkward Fan”

  1. Shannon October 2, 2013 at 12:08 pm #

    Oh my goodness Slo Mo…having John Mayer flashbacks…LOL

    • awkwardcharm October 2, 2013 at 12:15 pm #

      Haha! Yes. Now multiply that by 50 & that was me meeting Claude Giroux

  2. meshabee October 5, 2013 at 9:38 pm #

    Haha well maybe they will remember you!

    • awkwardcharm October 11, 2013 at 2:28 pm #

      Thanks! Yeah…let’s hope they remember me – well.

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