I See London, I See France…

18 Jun


I was in my freshman year of college.  My friend Allie and I saw that a comedian/hypnotist was coming to campus for a one-time performance and we decided to go.

The hypnotist turned out to be pretty good. I don’t usually enjoy that sort of thing, but he made us all laugh and I really enjoyed the show.  So when I saw the guy in front of me motion as if to stand, I immediately stood up for a standing ovation.

Two things:

1. I was the ONLY one standing. Apparently, the guy in front of me had adjusted himself in the seat and did not intend to stand. 

2. I stood up so quickly that the seat snapped up and flipped my skirt up leaving it resting on the small of my back so that I was unknowingly exposing myself to the 10 rows of people behind me.

{I alone stood clapping madly while unknowingly flashing everyone behind me}

Allie realized what had happened and tried to get me to sit back down, but it was too late. I had committed to the standing ovation and wasn’t going to back down!

Recognizing that I was in a fit of stubbornness and there was no moving me, Allie executed Plan B and pulled my skirt down for me.  Having not realized that my skirt had flipped up, it suddenly dawned on me what all the wild cheering and shouts of “nice panties” behind me were really about.

I  fell back down into my seat, mortified and wishing the ground would open up and swallow me so that no one could ever see me or my derrière again.

I attempted to walk out of the theater without looking up. I was just following Allie’s feet in front of me when I heard someone call my name. It was my cousin and his friends. Suddenly, Allie’s feet stopped moving. Damn!

Cousin: Hey!

Me: H-h-heeey {getmeoutofhere}

Cousin: Did you enjoy the show? {His friends begin to giggle}

Me: Uh…yeah. {His friends giggle some more. My angry squinting is futile}. What…Um…were you in the front rows, by chance?

Cousin: No. We were sitting a few rows behind you, I think {cousin’s friends are full on laughing now}.

Allie: {Whispers, “Your cousin saw your BUTT!”}


I see London, I see France. I see Awkward Charm’s Underpants


5 Responses to “I See London, I See France…”

  1. saramo June 18, 2013 at 6:39 pm #

    Oh, my GOD ! ….. I hope you did not wear a thong underwear ….. that was soooooo …. awkward :):):)

    • awkwardcharm June 19, 2013 at 6:49 am #

      I don’t think I was, thankfully! But you never really know with me…

  2. Kitt Crescendo June 18, 2013 at 6:53 pm #

    It could be worse. My cousin who had a rough childhood left home early. She was working as a bartender at a strip club, but one of the strippers convinced her she could make more money if she got on stage. She decided to try it. That first night…she was dancing….turned to the side of the stage only to see our cousin sitting there with friends, watching the show. She ran off the stage and never came back. Shortest stripping career ever. 🙂

    • awkwardcharm June 19, 2013 at 6:50 am #

      My awkwardness is rated PG 😉 Thanks again for sharing! It’s always a relief to me to know that i’m not the only Awkward out there…

      • Kitt Crescendo June 19, 2013 at 7:31 am #

        Exactly! There was a silver lining to your awkward cloud. 😉

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