I Whip My Hair Back and Forth

30 May

I have sprained my foot.  The how and why of it all doesn’t really matter – does it?

Ok, I thought I could jump over the dog steps leading to the couch.  Unfortunately my one foot didn’t get the memo and the rest is foot injury history.  Officially the dumbest way to hurt yourself.

This is not me, but let's pretend I look this cute when injured.

This is not me, but let’s pretend I look this cute when injured.

The thing about being single and injured is that even if you take time off of work to rest/heal, you still need to do basic tasks around the house for yourself.  Things like preparing meals and taking the dog for a walk don’t happen on their own.

As I lay there with my foot elevated, my dog began her “I have to pee” whine. {Sigh}  

Since walking is a bit uncomfortable, I decided to do as many things as possible in one go.  This meant stuffing letters to take to the mailbox under one arm and grabbing a full garbage bag, keys and dog leash with the other hand.  Easy.

I wasn’t going to let a little bandaged foot and immobilization shoe get in my way

So there I was hobbling behind an inconsiderate, speedy and spastic Chihuahua while bags and keys and things banged up against me.

When I got to the elevator bank, I saw three big men who looked like they had just spent the past year working out in a prison gym.  Given that they were in the midst of a heated debate over who hated their parole officer more, I’m guessing my assessment of how they got so buff wasn’t that far off.

Hm…maybe I’ll take the stairs instead? Because stairs and foot injuries go so well together.

Unfortunately, Panicky Dog couldn’t read my mind so when I turned right instead of left, she did what she does best – panic.

She decided to run a circle around me.  So as not to get my legs tied up, I lifted the arm holding her leash, but it was being weighed down by other things so I was only able to get it up so far when the leash wrapped around my hair bun.

As you may remember, when Panicky Dog is in the midst of a panic attack there is no stopping her, so she continued running circles around me, wrapping her expandable leash tighter and tighter around my hair.

There I was:

Elaine

       Bandaged foot and special shoe

       Stack of letters under one arm, which I absolutely refused to let drop to the floor

       Garbage bag, keys and leash in hand

       Panicky dog running around me in circles

       Whipping my head and body back and forth to try and untangle the ever-tightening leash from my hair without the use of my hands and only one good leg to stand on.

All the while, the parolees were watching.

First in awed silence, followed by bursts of laughter and comments such as “Hey lady, your dog is trying to kill you”. One guy was laughing so hard he was walking and clapping in glee.

Thanks for all the help, guys.  I’ll just awkwardly limp away now.

 

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11 Responses to “I Whip My Hair Back and Forth”

  1. Kitt Crescendo May 30, 2013 at 10:31 am #

    Oh, you poor thing. If it’s any consolation, my most recent post was on my awkward moments, though they were all of the verbal diarrhea variety. 😉

    Strangely enough, you’re not alone in your awkwardness. Though I didn’t sprain my ankle, I completely face planted in front of my co-workers and a mom with a mini-van. I thought I could scissor jump over this metal cable, except I misjudged it, caught the front of my heel in it and went sprawling…in front of a MALL! There went my pride. I should’ve just stepped over it, but noooo. To make matters worse, the mom with the mini-van hit reverse, rolled down her window and asked if I was okay. Ugh.

    The other one? A gal pal of mine went to walk her dogs. On the last step of her apartment, the dogs both took off in opposite directions. Her foot planted wrong. She wound up with a shattered ankle that required screws. 😡

    • awkwardcharm June 1, 2013 at 4:17 pm #

      Nothing beats a good face plant! Haha. I’m sorry but that was funny. I had a similar incident with a half wall so I can’t laugh too much 🙂 Thanks for sharing!

  2. saramo May 30, 2013 at 10:47 am #

    How rude for the guys to laugh instead of help ! …. You might be right about “parolees” 🙂

    • awkwardcharm June 1, 2013 at 4:14 pm #

      If I looked half as ridiculous as I felt then I can’t really blame them for laughing.

  3. hacken2013 May 30, 2013 at 11:50 am #

    I highly doubt they were parolees. They sound more like HUSBANDS to me! hahahaha

    • awkwardcharm June 1, 2013 at 4:15 pm #

      Ha! You’re probably right…although they really were arguing about who hated their parole officer more. So…

  4. datinginvegas May 30, 2013 at 9:09 pm #

    I would have absolutely tried to help you! I’ve pulled some klutzy moves myself in the past 🙂 Your visual was pretty funny though

    • awkwardcharm June 1, 2013 at 4:16 pm #

      Thank you! I’m sure once you stopped laughing you absolutely would’ve helped me 🙂

  5. sociallyoxward June 14, 2013 at 12:36 am #

    Oh myyyyy! I don’t know why this didn’t show up in our blog feed! But I’m lucky I stopped by to tell you we nominated you for an award, because this post had me giggling. I just kept imagining those guys standing there watching and for some reason you-in-my-head were just like -.- ‘uugh not again’ and just whipped your hair like it was an everyday thing. I’m sure you were a bit more worried than that, but stil. Thanks for the laughs!

    • awkwardcharm June 18, 2013 at 2:23 pm #

      It’s funny you should mention it because one of my first thoughts as the leash wrapped around my bun the first time was “ugh, I hate it when this happens” but then as Panicky Dog’s panic intensified it got more and more awkward (for me). 🙂 Thanks for the laugh, comment and nomination!!

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