Man of Mystery

1 May

Hello my lovely Awkwards! I’m sorry for the lack of posts, but my mom has been visiting this past month and I’ve been preoccupied. That does not mean, however, that I have not been extremely awkward these past few weeks.

This story began months ago. I had gone to a meeting and saw this extremely handsome man in the room. Given that I work with a lot of older men who we affectionately refer to as “the grey beards”, this guy stood out! He looked like a young Daniel Craig in the James Bond movies –Reow.  (Sorry)

daniel 2

Who was this guy? Where did he come from? And most importantly, does he like short women with frizzy hair and glasses?

A colleague of mine was able to fill me in on the details of this Mystery Man – but was unfortunately silent on his preference in women.

Two weeks later I’d get another chance to see him! This time I positioned myself in the meeting room so that I could easily steal quick glances, but subtlety is not a strength of the awkward.

Every so often he’d look over and catch me staring at him, opened mouth with a dreamy look on my face. Whoops!

I’d blush bright red, break out in nervous sweats and pretend to scribble something down in my notebook. This should be no stretch of the imagination for anyone who has read about my encounter with The Most Beautiful Man Known to Human Kind.

Once the meeting concluded, I saw Mystery Man walking toward me with purpose. He made eye contact and stopped directly in front of me.

Me: {I can’t believe it! This is it. He’s going to proclaim his love for me!  He’s so beautiful. Look at those eyes! What color is that, I wonder? Hunky blue? (snicker) And that suit! Tailored to perfection. Can I really date someone who is more fashionable than I am? Would the fact that I wear nothing but t-shirts and sweat pants when I’m at home be a turn-off? Is he one of those guys who expects women to be dressed to the nines at all times, because I am too tired for that foolishness. Then again, I bet he wouldn’t care because his love for me would transcend all that superficial crap which is fortunate because —}

Mystery Man: {Loudly clears his throat}.

 Me: {Huh? Crap! Was he saying something?}

photo-26Mystery Man: {Continues to look from me to a point just over my head}

Me: {What is he looking at? No matter! Just flirt, damn you. FLIRT (fluttery blinks)}

Mystery Man: “Excuse me.”{blink}  “I need to get by.” {motions to move around me}

Me: {Realize I had been blocking the only exit and a line had formed behind Mystery Man} Oh! {vomit into my mouth}

Colleague: {Chuckle} Smoooooooth.

Me: Oh just shut up, will you!

Although I made an impression on Mystery Man it was more of a creepy, this-girl-has-the-potential-to-become-a-psycho-stalker kind of impression. This was confirmed at our last meeting when Mystery Man sat on the opposite side of the room and ran out before I could block his exit – again.

{sigh}

One day I’ll be cool.

One day…

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7 Responses to “Man of Mystery”

  1. sociopathicuttlefish May 1, 2013 at 4:35 pm #

    Sadly, I know this story far to well…However I have a girlfriend now 😀 A beacon of hope to all of us with an awkward past!

    • awkwardcharm May 1, 2013 at 8:40 pm #

      Thanks for the encouragement, Sociopathicuttlefish!

      • awkwardcharm May 2, 2013 at 7:57 am #

        Yes girl, keep the hope high !

  2. Kitt Crescendo May 9, 2013 at 6:15 pm #

    Maybe it’s a bit selfish on my part, but I hope you never get that “cool”. Your blog is aptly named in that there’s a charm to your awkward moments. The right guy will find them endearing… Your stories always make me smile because we’ve all had those moments at different times in our lives.

    Hope your visit with mom was good. 🙂

    • awkwardcharm May 11, 2013 at 7:47 am #

      Thank you, Kitt! That is so sweet of you to say. And don’t worry… I will never be that “cool” so you can expect many, many more awkward posts 🙂

      ps – Visit with mom went great. Thanks!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Thor: God of Rentals | Awkward Charm - July 23, 2013

    […] then there is also the fact that he has caught me open-mouth-staring at him at meetings, so now makes a point of sitting on the opposite side of the room and sitting so […]

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