How Do I Get Off This Train?

17 Feb

I love to travel.  I just hate all the awkward situations I put myself in when I do.  When my friend, Dolly and I decided to go overseas I should’ve known it would be no different.

We decided to take the train to the airport.  I had never been on the train, but Dolly assured me it was easy.  She clearly had never traveled with an awkward charmer before.

Although we were only going to be gone for a week I packed the entire contents of my closet.

When we got on the train, we were told our suitcases had to go in the racks above our seats.  Were they insane? I couldn’t even reach the racks and my suitcase weighed almost as much as I did.suitcase

I tried to look around for a man to help me, but as soon as they spotted my behemoth suitcase they suddenly became very interested in whatever newspaper or magazine in their hands.

I managed to get one wheel up on the rack before my twig arms gave out and the whole thing came tumbling down on top of me. I dove to the floor and let the seats bare the brunt of the weight.

The two {cough} gentleman behind me were laughing their heads off.  Dolly eventually managed to heave my enormous bag up for me.

Dolly realized it was on her to do all the heavy lifting, so when we got to our stop she waited for the passengers to clear out before wrestling our bags down in order to avoid hitting someone on the head.

By the time I got to the door it slammed shut and the train started to pull away from the station.

Right.  I should mention that I am not good in an emergency situation.  Whereas some people have a flight or fight response, I just remain frozen until the panic subsides.

emergency leverOr in this case until Dolly screams “Pull the emergency lever” really loudly in my ear.

I as I stood there, stupidly blinking at her because it was all I could muster. She again screamed, “ PULL THE EMERGENCY LEVER! DO IT!”

So I did.  I pulled the lever in front of me.

As it turns out this lever did not signal the conductor to stop the train. It pulled the rubber out from around the windowpane on the door so that the glass fell out of the train and the lever with rubber and all was left dangling from my hand.

As I stood there holding up the incriminating evidence, she threw it out the now gaping hole in the door and we took off running into the next car with our suitcases slamming into seats behind us.

So much for subtle.

We had assumed we could just get off at the next stop and change trains, but as the ticket taker explained, this train wasn’t going to stop for another 20 minutes and it would be the last stop, so everyone has to get off.


He looked from the vandalized door then back to me with my enormous suitcase and covered in anxiety sweats, sighed loudly, and told us to just stay on the train and he’d make sure we get back to the airport without having to switch trains.

As the train pulled into the last stop the conductor came on the loud speaker and announced that we were at the last stop and everyone was to get off  “except the two girls going to the airport.  You two remain on the train.”

{Me and Dolly sitting there with enormous suitcases}

Who could he mean? Weird.


6 Responses to “How Do I Get Off This Train?”

  1. saramo February 17, 2013 at 7:05 pm #

    Hahahahahahahaha …… I can’t stop laughing ….. hahahahaha …. I would love to travel with you ….. it will be a great adventure …. hahahahaah

    • awkwardcharm February 17, 2013 at 7:07 pm #

      I guarantee you’ll have an awkward adventure with me.

  2. Shannon February 17, 2013 at 7:49 pm #

    What no awkward birthday post?!? 🙂 Happy birthday Slo Mo!!!!!!

    • awkwardcharm February 19, 2013 at 9:34 am #

      I tried, but this story kept popping into mind. I needed to get it out 🙂

  3. Jeff February 17, 2013 at 10:28 pm #

    I would have helped you get your suitcase up onto the rack, but I definitely would have also laughed when you made the window fall out of the train.

    • awkwardcharm February 17, 2013 at 10:50 pm #

      The window falling out was quite a shock! 🙂

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