Hypothermic New Year

1 Jan


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The last time I went out on New Year’s Eve it was the coldest day of the year with temperatures dropping to 13°F (-10°C).

We were all meeting at a friend’s apartment downtown and from there going to a posh NYE party. The kind where you had to promise away your first born child to get in and then drinks cost $250 a piece.

I couldn’t be bothered with bulky coats or scarves or mittens. I had to look cute! Besides, who knew what else I’d have to promise just to get my coat checked.  Instead, I wore a spaghetti strap flapper dress with gold, strappy heels. In a word: Fabulous!

We left the party around 1am in order to avoid the mass exodus.  Instead of asking the taxi to drop my friends and take me home, I decided to go up for one last drink. You know, to warm me up.  By the time I left her apartment it was 2am and all the bars were letting out. I tried calling a cab, but the line was busy.  NO problem! I’d just walk outside and get one.

So there I was… flapper dress, heels, and a velour hoodie that my friend insisted I wear. Pssssssssshhhhh, like I’d need it?

I walked outside and was immediately slammed with a cold wind that felt like it cut me off at the knees.  Where was a taxi when I needed one? I was too proud to go back upstairs so I started to walk up to a busier intersection in hopes of finding an empty taxi.

I walked around for about 15 minutes, but every taxi I saw was full.  I tried to walk some more, but had to stop because I couldn’t feel my legs anymore.

{I should go back to my friend’s house! Where did she live again? Where am I? Oh no… I can’t think straight.  What’s happening? Is this what hypothermia is like? This is it.  I’m going to die. At least I’ll die looking gorgeous}

As I stood on the corner with my arm stretched out and trembling so badly that my dress looked like it was vibrating, a man in his early 30s walked up to me.

Man: Um, do you need a ride?

Me: {teeth chattering} Y-y-y-y-y-y-yeeeeeeeeeeee-ssssssssssssss

Man: {worried look} Where do you live?

Me: {Don’t kidnap me and lock me in your basement!} I don’t like basements

Man: What?

Me: N-nothing {turning blue}

Man: Look, um {looking behind him} I am picking up a friend, but I don’t think he’s ready to leave his party yet.  Why don’t I take you home, sweetie?

Had I been in my right mind I would NEVER have gotten in the car with a strange man at 2am.  But I wasn’t in my right mind, was I? To be perfectly honest, at that moment I didn’t care where he took me or what he did with me once there just so long as it was somewhere warm!

It turns out he drove a limousine and had been parked up the street waiting for his friend/client.  He had seen me shivering and crying through his rearview mirror. I guess he got tired of watching a foolish girl in a gorgeous dress slowly freeze to death.

The kind stranger didn’t make any scary stops of the basement variety. He kept his word and drove me directly home making sure to lecture me on the importance of proper winter attire the whole way.

I tried to pay him but ended up dropping all of my money on the ground thanks to my not-yet-defrosted fingers. He smiled down at me, scooped up my money, placed it back into my cold, shaky hands, wished me a Happy New Year and drove off.

You see? Even half dead from hypothermia I’m still charming!

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5 Responses to “Hypothermic New Year”

  1. enrique martinez January 1, 2013 at 11:19 am #

    Me acuerdo de esa historia!!

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    • awkwardcharm January 1, 2013 at 11:35 am #

      Jajaja! Que cosa, no? Menos mal que ese hombre me vio — di mucha pena 🙂

  2. saramo January 2, 2013 at 2:01 pm #

    Girl. you are charming an VERY lucky!!!!

  3. Ursula January 3, 2013 at 12:21 pm #

    That is so nice of him!!! Love it!

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